I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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