i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
