wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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