The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
