Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Plan B is the new Plan A
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher