Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green