she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.