i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.