Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
