Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
