I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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