Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
