He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
