Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
