oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
