It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
