if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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