I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
