someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
