Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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