Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
