Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
