How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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