I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
