Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think a kid would responsible me up
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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