I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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