Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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