is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
