The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Someone signed my nipple.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
