No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
