i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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