so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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