everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
