i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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