So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
