I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
