The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
