i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
