Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
