are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
