I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i barfeds in our rink
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
