Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
