I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
