I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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