Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
