wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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