billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i will never coherently bang her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
