How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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