The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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