Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
