well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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