they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
