No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
