i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
