She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
