I skipped work to stalk him.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
