Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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