i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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