the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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