PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
