I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
