so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
