where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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