Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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