Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
