If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
