I've blown a few things in my day
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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