The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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