i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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