I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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