So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
