If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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