My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
