omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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